Miss Me Lovee,

Memoirs From A Dying N.E.G.R.O.: " Boyfriend Break "

pricelessbeauty:

i was almost tempted to say that i wanted my boyfriend
to come hold me and kiss me and tell me you miss me
you can still do that, just minus the title of my “boyfriend”
I failed to realize that I’d been blinded my own passion
and that I was single since we had decided to take a break,
and if it was our fate we’d find ourselves back together.
but if not, we’d be separated and be not with each other anymore
but I felt like that was an incorrect calculation or even
prediction or perception of what had gone down.
see you are going through things in life,
and if I only bring you stress and strife, then to hell with me!
go free your mind from pain and insanity!
go smoke as much reefer as you can, because you won’t be seeing me
for a long time because of life and it’s reality, so I thought.
i mean, i know that’s not all i brought you. i brought you some smiles
i brought you some fury times, i brought you some laughs
i brought you some good sweet pussy and i brought you some fun
i brought you some enjoyment as the sun brightened our love
i brought you some disdain, i brought you some pain
but i brought you some serenity as we stood standing in the rain.
you remember that baby, remember that day?
but it’s okay though, well the separation in a way, it’s okay
because even though I cried for you, swore on anything I would die for you
I guess all of that loving was too damn much for you
so I blame me, for loving you endlessly.
or maybe it was title that got you a little worried or stressed
but regardless nevertheless, I will always love you.
and I have always told you that,
and for the record, yes I was hurt, not because you were leaving me..
but because you said you’d never leave me
and I guess it’s my fault for believing in forever,
well technically you didn’t leave me,
but you didn’t need me as much as I needed you
and it was something that I felt was gonna happen
because it always happens to me, I’m a hard lover
love-harder and it works out in my deficit.
it doesn’t benefit me the slightest bit.
but trust me my little sexy face, I am okay.
well, I’ll be soon at least because I know you will forever love me.
I mean, that’s what you’ve been constantly telling me
some of my male friends say a break was just a way to get rid of me
but how could they tell, they only know why I’ve said and it ain’t much
at the end of the day, i still love you.
there’s still a place in my heart that yearns for you
there’s still a beat in my heart that beats for you
and there’s still a warmth in my soul when I think of you loving me
and that’s what keeps me okay.
i guess we’re going to remain title-less
until you stop responding to my texts
and stop wanting to talking to me
when you stop answering my calls
and stop adhering to my flaws. and stop telling me you love me
even though you said you’d love me til eternity
there’s going to come a time you find someone way better than me
and I’ll be pushed aside and no longer held high in your eyes.
because you’ll see someone better than me and she will be praised.
but she might not understand you like I do, or do the things I do
so don’t miss me too much. but she’s gonna be good for you
and it breaks my heart to say this but when you find that replacement
i hope you treat her right, but i hope she’s only a fraction of what I am
or what I was to you.
dammit, my heart cannot stop fucking loving you!
and I’m sorry for that, it put pressure on you, something i regret to do
but I will never forget you, not like I can.
i love you. i fucking love you. like no other woman can.
and if this poem kinda upsets you, then I’m sorry
because writing is the way I’m coping without you,
and since I’m not really without you yet, i guess I’m coping for the future
in a sense, if that makes any sense.
I’m still holding on to you. i don’t wanna let got yet.
and if you stay with me, then I’ll do better for you baby, promise
but if you decide that us being farther apart is best then it’s a-okay.
so tell my mans, Roman the Unknown,
“Him” and T when you decide to leave
peace out my loves, I hope y’all do okay without me.
and even if you find some other bitch, to love instead?
you will always be my baby and my boyfriend inside my head.

- Gee Baby; Tink; Bloopy

(via theholykaron)